We’re led to believe that women of a certain age
simply lose interest in sex. According to this narrative, having children and settling into domestic bliss means that a typical midlife woman will
come to prefer a quiet night with a good book to sexual intimacy with her partner.
But a survey published last week — which revealed that the majority of
women over 50 are unsatisfied in the bedroom — has dramatically highlighted just how wrong these assumptions can be.
The poll found that 69 per cent of women were unhappy with their sex lives —
with one in 20 (or 5 per cent) so starved of intimacy that they had
considered paying for sex. Another 11 per cent admitted to having an affair to boost their love life.
As a psychiatrist who regularly hears couples talking about their deep unhappiness
with their sex lives, I think that part of the problem is that we don’t see older women as sexual beings.
As a result, many men give up trying to initiate sex, yet
neither of them feels they can talk about this most
delicate of subjects. Both sexes therefore find themselves bottling
up their deep feelings of inadequacy and disappointment.
But this is not the only stumbling block.
What I found particularly interesting was that 44 per cent
of the men surveyed admitted to avoiding sex because of erection problems.
This is terribly sad because erectile dysfunction can be easily and successfully treated in most cases by lifestyle changes, medications or other treatments.
Even in situations where penetrative sex is not an option, there are plenty of other pleasurable ways couples can enjoy
intimacy. But this would require a conversation and often neither
party wants to address it.
Dr Max Pemberton found that 44 per cent of
the men who were surveyed had admitted to avoiding sex because of erection problems
Men are simply too embarrassed and ashamed to talk about erection problems and women are
mortified to admit they feel invisible. Of
course, it’s common for lust to wax and wane on both sides in a long-term relationship.
Waning confidence, hormone changes and other health issues can all play a role.
Yet when the result of a less frequent love life is feelings of isolation and
even desperation, as this survey underlined, then there are clearly communication issues to be
resolved.
Here are suggestions to help:
Choose your moment
It’s essential to find a private, comfortable setting
with no distractions. You won’t be able to have a meaningful conversation as you’re heading out of the door to work or if the TV is blaring.
And you’ll do more harm than good to raise the matter if you’re in the middle
of a row or you are in bed and are feeling rejected.
Instead, consider a casual and more relaxed setting like a
leisurely weekend breakfast.
Another good idea is to bring it up on a walk, where you can talk shoulder to shoulder rather than face
to face — which can often feel confrontational.
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We’re led to believe that women of a certain age
simply lose interest in sex. According to this narrative, having children and settling into domestic bliss means that a typical midlife woman will
come to prefer a quiet night with a good book to sexual intimacy with her partner.
But a survey published last week — which revealed that the majority of
women over 50 are unsatisfied in the bedroom — has dramatically highlighted just how wrong these assumptions can be.
The poll found that 69 per cent of women were unhappy with their sex lives —
with one in 20 (or 5 per cent) so starved of intimacy that they had
considered paying for sex. Another 11 per cent admitted to having an affair to boost their love life.
As a psychiatrist who regularly hears couples talking about their deep unhappiness
with their sex lives, I think that part of the problem is that we don’t see older women as sexual beings.
As a result, many men give up trying to initiate sex, yet
neither of them feels they can talk about this most
delicate of subjects. Both sexes therefore find themselves bottling
up their deep feelings of inadequacy and disappointment.
But this is not the only stumbling block.
What I found particularly interesting was that 44 per cent
of the men surveyed admitted to avoiding sex because of erection problems.
This is terribly sad because erectile dysfunction can be easily and successfully treated in most cases by lifestyle changes, medications or other treatments.
Even in situations where penetrative sex is not an option, there are plenty of other pleasurable ways couples can enjoy
intimacy. But this would require a conversation and often neither
party wants to address it.
Dr Max Pemberton found that 44 per cent of
the men who were surveyed had admitted to avoiding sex because of erection problems
Men are simply too embarrassed and ashamed to talk about erection problems and women are
mortified to admit they feel invisible. Of
course, it’s common for lust to wax and wane on both sides in a long-term relationship.
Waning confidence, hormone changes and other health issues can all play a role.
Yet when the result of a less frequent love life is feelings of isolation and
even desperation, as this survey underlined, then there are clearly communication issues to be
resolved.
Here are suggestions to help:
Choose your moment
It’s essential to find a private, comfortable setting
with no distractions. You won’t be able to have a meaningful conversation as you’re heading out of the door to work or if the TV is blaring.
And you’ll do more harm than good to raise the matter if you’re in the middle
of a row or you are in bed and are feeling rejected.
Instead, consider a casual and more relaxed setting like a
leisurely weekend breakfast.
Another good idea is to bring it up on a walk, where you can talk shoulder to shoulder rather than face
to face — which can often feel confrontational.
Don’t be accusing
I blog often and I really appreciate your information. The article has really peaked
my interest. I will bookmark your site and keep checking for new details about once a week.
I subscribed to your RSS feed as well.
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Do you have a spam problem on this blog; I also am a blogger, and I was curious about your situation; we have created some nice methods and we are looking to exchange solutions with others, why not shoot me an email
if interested.
скачать взломанные игры на андроид без регистрации — это отличный способ изменить
игровой опыт. Особенно если вы пользуетесь устройствами на платформе Android, модификации открывают перед вами большие
перспективы. Я часто использую игры с обходом
системы защиты, чтобы получать неограниченные ресурсы.
Моды для игр дают невероятную свободу выбора, что делает процесс гораздо красочнее.
Играя с плагинами, я могу
повысить уровень сложности, что добавляет приключенческий процесс
и делает игру более эксклюзивной.
Это действительно удивительно, как такие модификации
могут улучшить игровой процесс, а при этом сохраняя использовать такие модифицированные приложения можно без особых неприятных последствий,
если быть внимательным и следить за
обновлениями. Это делает каждый игровой процесс лучше контролируемым, а возможности практически выше
всяких похвал.
Советую попробовать такие модифицированные версии
для Android — это может открыть новые
горизонты
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Hey! I understand this is kind of off-topic but I needed to ask.
Does building a well-established blog like yours take a large amount of work?
I am brand new to writing a blog however I do write
in my journal on a daily basis. I’d like to start a blog so I can share my personal experience and views online.
Please let me know if you have any recommendations or tips for new aspiring blog owners.
Appreciate it!
It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it’s time to be happy.
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